Sensory needs
⦁ Many young people love to hug – this fulfills a sensory need
⦁ Or they might dislike being touched as this is considered an invasion of personal space and it may even physically hurt them
⦁ The young person may be very sensitive to sensations – light, sounds, tastes, touch (fabrics, labels) smells –
⦁ They may find a perfume or deodorant overpowering
Watch this video, can you make it to the end?
Thinking about how you felt when you watched that video, how do you now feel your child experiences the world, all the time, every day? Consider the energy needed to manage that, how tired it makes them, and how it can push a child into overwhelmed – meltdown/shutdown. Whilst sensory needs are seen to be predominantly linked to ASD, it can also be a by-product of ADHD, when a young person needs to continually sensory-seek to ground themselves.
Masking and meltdowns
⦁ Young neurodivergent people often can ‘mask’ their differences and anxieties.
⦁ Masking is more common in girls, however many boys also mask to try and fit in with their peer group.
⦁ Young people feel most safe at home with their parents. Therefore it makes sense that they feel more able to release their anxieties at home in their ‘safe’ space.
⦁ Parents often describe their child as a “shaken up coke bottle” when they return home from school. Once the lid is undone the anxiety spills out!
Everyone masks to a degree, in that people want to put their best selves forward in public, and then let it all go when they get home. However, masking becomes an issue when a young person has to hold themselves together to such an extent that they are unable to focus on their learning, and then either explode (meltdown) or implode (shutdown) when they get home.
Tantrum or meltdown?
A tantrum is behavioural – driven by a want or a need – this needs behavioural strategies. A meltdown is due to emotional overwhelm – this needs connection, empathy, and redirection.
Window of tolerance
So what happens to our bodies when we are anxious?
Why do we need to respond to a meltdown with compassion?
If we ignore big feelings or refuse to engage, it can have the effect that they’re bouncing back to the child or young person, so they get bigger and bigger. The message the child or young person receives, is ‘Your big feelings are too big and scary for me to handle’.
If we recognise what we are seeing, and validate the big feelings, it has the same impact as a problem-shared is a problem halved. The child or young person feels seen, heard, and supported, and the big feelings reduce more quickly.
The trouble with girls (And boys)!
ND traits may become more noticeable after puberty because of:
⦁ Socialising- Peer pressure and feeling that you have to ‘fit in’
⦁ Recognising difference-Young person may start to recognise that they are different when they go through puberty
⦁ Environment- Transition to secondary school which is bigger, noisier, and overwhelming
⦁ Executive Function- More pressure on the young person as they move to secondary school to be independent
Female presentation of ND
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