Resources and information for parents

The school run can be a challenging time of day. Our clinicians share their top tips for parents on managing your child's emotional wellbeing needs for the start of the school day.

• Be prepared, logistically but also mentally and emotionally. Try to strike a balance between not thinking the worst will happen when you get to the school gate but having a plan for if you have a wobble.
• Reflect on your own levels of anxiety about the school run and separation. Practice managing this and gradually teach your child, with mindfulness and grounding techniques and practice helpful thoughts about what the reality/likelihood is about the rest of the day.
• Make the school run fun, play games or sing songs together.
• If you can possibly include exercise/physicality in the journey do – walking, scooting, cycling, even some star jumps before and after getting in the car to use up nervous energy, park further away from school to walk further if it is safe to do so.
• If your child has a special interest try and relate the journey or the goodbye to this i.e. role play.
• Have a prepared script for saying goodbye and stick to this. Invite your child to write their part. Don’t make it too long or drawn out. A short, simple, fun and loving ritual makes goodbye enjoyable and no big deal.
• If your child likes to have some control give them two choices of what you’ll do on the journey and on what kind of goodbye you’ll have. No more than two. Tell them the options if they are too anxious to think of ideas themselves.
• Make a time for worry time (talk time) after school for a limited time of 15 minutes every day, same time every day. This way if worries are brought up on route to school, before leaving the house or at bedtime as a way of stalling you can remind your child that you have worry time so you can make sure you can talk about it then.
• Work with the school if the drop off/goodbye is difficult. Perhaps make a plan together if necessary, could the same member of staff greet your child every morning and help them transition in.
• Books like The Invisible String are helpful for reading with children.

Helpful organisations and links

Self-care tips and videos for young people - Every Mind Matters NHS

This website has lots of excellent advice on mental health and self-care for young people, and a range of helpful self-care videos to help you take good care of yourself.

Healthy Surrey

Healthy Surrey provides support for your family's emotional wellbeing and mental health needs with self-help resources, online help and details on where to get more help if you need it. Subjects covered include:

• What to look out for if you're worried about your child's mental wellbeing
• Self help - strategies for children and young people's mental wellbeing
• Support in Surrey - local services to help support your mental health and wellbeing
• Crisis - mental wellbeing support for children and young people when you feel you are in a crisis
• Information for parents/carers 
• SEND support - services providing support specifically for children and young people with special educational needs or disabilities
• Domestic Abuse Hotline – Help and support for anyone experiencing domestic abuse in Surrey, 01483 776822, 9am to 9pm, 7 days a week, provided by yourSanctuary.
• Family Voice Surrey - Surrey's parent carer forum for families of children and young people with additional needs.
• Homestart Surrey - Being a parent has never been easy. It can be lonely, frustrating, heartbreaking and over-whelming. Life-changing events can happen to anyone. That is why Home-Start is ready to support families through their toughest times. Every Home-Start volunteer - Trained to help work alongside you to overcome the challenges you are facing. Working with you to build on your strengths and give you the support that you need.
• Surrey Minority Ethnic Forum - represents the needs and aspirations of a growing ethnic minority population in Surrey.

Surrey Family Information Service

An online directory of services available in Surrey for children, young people and families, managed by Surrey County Council.

• Parenting courses and advice
• Family centres
• One minute guides to Early Help and Children's Services
• Community Connector online newsletter – helping families find support
• Young people
• The Parent Handbook
• Keeping your family safe
• Healthy living for families
• Resources for parents and those working alongside them
• Helping Families Early Webinars Supporting Family Resilience

You can contact Surrey Local Offer, the online hub for 0 to 25 year olds (and their families) with special educational needs or a disability.

You can also contact Family Voice Surrey, a local charity which speaks up for the families of children and young people with additional needs in Surrey. They give Surrey parents a strong collective voice, a forum to share knowledge and empowerment to improve opportunities for our children.

A helpful guide from the Royal College of Psychiatrists for parents and carers of children and young people who have anxiety.

Information from YoungMinds for parents or carers of young people with various emotional and wellbeing challenges, including self-harm.